How to Financially Support Aging Parents Without Jeopardizing Your Future

Start With a Clear Picture

First things first: take stock of your parents’ finances. It can feel uncomfortable at first—talking about money isn’t always easy. But having a full understanding of their financial position is crucial.

Start with:

• Monthly income (Social Security, pensions, rental income, etc.)
• Ongoing expenses (housing, food, insurance, prescriptions)
• Assets and savings
• Insurance policies (health, long-term care, life)
• Debts



Understanding what they have—and what they might need—helps you build a support plan rooted in facts rather than assumptions.

Don’t Shoulder It Alone

Many adult children jump straight into “fix it” mode, often using their own savings or retirement contributions to help cover gaps. While well-intentioned, this can backfire over time. Instead, consider spreading the responsibility:

• Talk with siblings or other relatives to see what support (financial or otherwise) they can provide
• Involve professionals, like a financial advisor or eldercare planner
• Tap into community resources, such as state assistance programs, nonprofit support services, or adult day care centers



Remember, asking for help isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a strategy.

Create a Shared Budget

Once you have the numbers, sit down with your parents (and any other involved family members) and build a collaborative budget.



Things to consider:

• Can they downsize to lower housing costs?
• Are there subscriptions or services they no longer use?
• Would a Medicare Advantage or supplemental plan better cover healthcare needs?

If you’re contributing financially, treat it like part of your own budget. Set a monthly limit you’re comfortable with—and stick to it.

Use Tax-Smart Strategies

The IRS actually recognizes some caregiving situations and provides potential relief:

• Claiming a parent as a dependent: If you provide over 50% of their support, you might qualify
• Medical expense deductions: Out-of-pocket costs you pay on their behalf might be deductible
• Flexible Spending Accounts (FSAs) or Health Savings Accounts (HSAs): You may be able to use these for certain care expenses
• Dependent Care Credit: If your parent is unable to care for themselves and you pay someone to help, you might qualify



A financial advisor or CPA can help you navigate these opportunities so you’re not leaving money on the table.

Consider Long-Term Care Options

One of the biggest “what ifs” in elder care is long-term support—assisted living, home healthcare, or skilled nursing. These can be shockingly expensive.



Planning early makes a huge difference:

• Check if your parents have long-term care insurance
• Research Medicaid planning options (it’s complex—work with a pro)
• Explore hybrid life insurance policies with long-term care riders
• Think through housing adjustments that could delay or reduce care needs

We worked with a client whose father moved in after a fall. Instead of immediate assisted living, they adjusted their home for accessibility, hired part-time help, and used a tax-free HSA distribution to cover equipment. That bridge solution bought them two more years of independent living.

Don’t Sacrifice Your Retirement

It’s tempting to pause your 401(k) contributions or dip into your IRA to help—but doing so could hurt you in the long run.

You deserve a secure future, too. Protect it by:

• Continuing to contribute at least enough to get any employer match
• Keeping your emergency fund intact
• Avoiding early withdrawals that trigger penalties and taxes



We tell clients: supporting your parents shouldn’t mean becoming dependent on your own children later. You need to balance generosity with sustainability.

Talk About Legal Documents

These conversations aren’t always easy—but they’re necessary. Make sure key legal documents are in place:

• Durable Power of Attorney (for finances)
• Healthcare Proxy or Medical Power of Attorney
• HIPAA authorization
• Living Will or Advance Directive



Having these in order allows you to step in, if needed, without legal red tape. It also ensures their wishes are honored.

Take Care of Yourself, Too

Caring for aging parents can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to admit it. Burnout is real—and when your emotional cup is empty, it’s harder to make clear financial decisions.

Make space for rest and boundaries:

• Join a support group
• Schedule time off from caregiving duties
• Talk to a therapist or coach if needed



You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Build a Long-Term Plan

Just like you’d plan for college expenses or retirement, caregiving deserves a strategic approach. Consider:

• Creating a multigenerational financial plan that accounts for your parents, yourself, and (if applicable) your kids
• Designating funds or savings buckets for elder care costs
• Reviewing your estate plan to reflect new caregiving roles or priorities



With the right plan in place, you don’t have to choose between caring for your parents and securing your own future. You can do both.

Final Thoughts

Supporting your aging parents is one of the most meaningful (and often challenging) roles you’ll ever take on. But it doesn’t have to come at the cost of your own dreams.

With smart budgeting, honest conversations, and a little professional help, you can find that sweet spot—where love and responsibility meet strategy and sustainability.



We are here to help you create a roadmap that honors your parents and your future self. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, know this: you’re not alone. Let’s build your plan together.

Andrea Ward, CPA

Andrea has worked in the finance industry for nearly all of her professional life. Taking over the family business she continues to combine her tax and investment knowledge to leverage the investment power of money while reducing gains taxes paid to the IRS. She lives in the Fort Worth, Texas area, (although is happy to work with virtual clients all over the United States!) Andrea loves to travel and dabble in home decorating.

Matt Ward

Matt began helping clients in the insurance industry. However, he struggled with big business’s emphasis on selling rather than helping, so he came to work with the family business focusing on investment advisory. In his free time, he shreds the gnar on his snowboard and jams on drums and guitar (but not at the same time).